With 2010 ending in about 24 hours, it’s amazing how far we’ve come over a year’s time. I personally have met some amazing people, had some interesting conversations and recently got over quite a few personal flaws that I realized I had obtained over the year. After sitting here for the past hour or so, I’ve come to realize how short life can be at times. The days seem to go by faster as the year progresses, and it’s amazing how many times one can fuck up throughout the year.

I guess if you look back at it, the one thing you can never change is what went on in the past, and once you come to terms with it, the only thing you can really do is keep that mistake in the mind, move on, and learn from it. I realize I had made some mistakes in the past year, and didn’t really realize it until just recently, so starting in 2011, I am going to keep the mistakes I made in the past year, and learn from them for next year. I guess everyone changes as years progress, old friends move on, you make new friends and then the cycle begins all over but those memories you make and gain will stick with you throughout the years. Also, the mood you carry into the year seems to stick with you throughout the year as well.

I went into 2010 in bed with my leg up off the ground due to a accident that had happened a week before, and the bitterness seemed to have made me a semi-scrooge when it came to having fun, due to depression kicking in and then when I finally went back to my youtube channel and began looking around at new channels to check out with the help of a old now ex friend, it really gives you a brighter outlook. I’ve met some amazing people, and I know one or two read this blog, and if it wasn’t for them, who knows what I would be doing or where I would be today. It also really helps throughout the year to have a life long friend by your side. I realized who my true friends were over the past year and it really changes the thought process. Yes there were times I probably had annoyed some people throughout the year and after taking a deep thought about it in the past few nights, I really wish I could have changed it at the time but it comes back to remembering it for next time.

Another thing is, there is a natural cure for depression, and I have come to realize it. That cure is having a true friend to be there by your side even when you are down at the bottom of life, trying to fight through it on your own, but it always helps to have someone close to get a lot off the chest, no matter how bizarre it may be. You just need to find the right person to put faith into, and begin to open up, no matter how hard it may seem. I realized that recently and every day we talk, it just seems like more stress in life just seems to disappear. Come 2011, I know I will be making some major and minor changes to how I live.

Another thing I realized this past year was how much stuff I have obtained, and either used once, or never used at all due to having a impulse to spend on everything that friends may recommend, or mention that was good, also how much I have spent over recent months on sending stuff out across country for friends who I talked to online, and never thought about the rest of the month, or for real life friends at times. So starting in 2011, I’ll be most likely going through a lot of the stuff, and either donating it to the local thrift stores, or pass it on to my brother. This past year, I also spent a good fortune on cd’s, including the completion to the Our Lady Peace discography, that put a pretty dent in the wallet. I finally realized that I have a entire life to collect, and I don’t have to buy every little thing that comes my way, as well as begin planning for the future.

Another thing I plan on hopefully achieving this next year is get more in touch with people I seem to only talk to either via youtube, twitter, etc. and hopefully get faith in myself to actually open up to some of those people instead of cowering in the shadows, and staying afraid to even say hi to them on skype or whatever else. There’s a few people who I talk to mainly on youtube, and I have on skype, but every time I load the page, I always second think myself and back off. I noticed that one of my major flaws in life is to actually open up to people instead of hiding in the shadows or whatever, and try to be more like myself inside than acting like a empty shell at times.

Lastly, I realized that no matter how fucked up life can be, there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel, and no matter how many forks in the road you may run into, or how many speed bumps you might hit in life, they always work out in the end. Hopefully in 2011, I can live up to my new year resolutions and as for me, I am off to get ready for bed, and to prepare for a concert in Niagara Falls. Goodnight and have a happy new year.

There’s different music for different moods like upbeat music for people who are happy, angry music for people who are upset or mad at something, relaxing music for people who want to wind down after a long day, as well as music for people who are fighting depression and look for hope. I didn’t realize how music affects the mood until recently. I fell into the metal scene for a short while with such stuff like Five Finger Death Punch, KoRn, Slipknot, Metallica, as well as Kalmah and Dark Tranquility for a short time. When actually listening to it, it’s pretty shocking all the thoughts that suddenly begin to form after listening to the albums after a short time. The thoughts become dark, clouded and you don’t realize it until you actually go off and talk with someone else.

I can say though, after discovering some of the jazz and blues artists, it’s amazing how fast those dark, clouded thoughts disappear. There are people in the world as well that think only one or two genres of music are the only good ones and the rest are crap. I used to hate rap with a passion but after broading my music tastes and looking past the stuff such as Eminem, Dr. Dre, Snoop Dogg, etc., it’s amazing what a lot of musicians and artists grow up with. I realized rap music isn’t always about drugs, sex and alcohol, and some rappers go on about life. Same with country and many other artists. I have truly broadened my music tastes over the past little while, and it seems to be for the good.

To close this, remember one thing. Anything you listen to can affect your mood at times. It could be for the best and it could also be for the worst. In the end, just be proud of who you are and if someone else doesn’t like it, then it is their opinion. That’s pretty much it for now.

End little rant.

Don’t get me wrong I like Christmas music and all but when you hear “deck the halls” a hundred times in an hour, there is only so much you can take. I find the malls get busier around late November, early December due to the shoppers looking for gifts but give us a break with the music. Thankfully mp3 players and iPods come in handy at this time of year. I love going to the malls around Christmas though especially after getting the shopping out-of-the-way, because sometimes you have to stop and laugh at the fact people wait until the last-minute, then get angry with the stores. I wouldn’t mind hearing Christmas music in the malls however if they changed up the songs once and awhile and not play the same song on repeat. Maybe I’m just grumpy because this year I’ll be joining the last-minute shoppers, or it could be because I’m already tired of hearing Christmas music on the radio and in stores, but in the end, all I can honestly say is if I have to listen to “Deck The Halls” one more time in a store and hear it on repeat, it’ll make me want to scream.

With that rant over I hope you all have a good week.

I guess it doesn’t really help with all the real life issues that are going on so as of right now, I’m considering it a break in both video blogging and comedy/random skits. With job hunting commencing Monday as well, I’ll hopefully get out of this slump, but as of right now, they are just ideas running through my head without having them becoming reality. This is another short blog post and probably ended up as being a rant, but it needed to be written before I goto bed. I will hopefully be able to clear the mind, and come back to YouTube with full energy and new material. Also have a couple collab videos that I have been wanting to do but first I have to talk it over with the other people and see if they want to do it or not. Until next time, one sleep deprived Canadian, out!

Currently for the week ahead, it should be a short week. I am hoping the rain holds off for Wednesday due to having a baseball tournament that I am participating in taking place, visiting a friends who I haven’t seen since the beginning of summer, then spend the weekend doing whatever that comes along. It is now Tuesday morning going on 1:15am and the allergy medication is beginning to kick in, so I think it’s time to end this before I start snoring away at the computer desk. I hope you all have a good week and I would just like to wish a special happy birthday to Allison. I hope you have an amazing sweet 16 and hope for many more to come.

Until next time, DFTBA and have a nice one.

The reason I am calling this the summer of hell however is because over the past summer, it seemed like everyone was having problems of their own, and with them being tiny, it’s finally caught up all at once and finally hit me with all the problems I was facing throughout the summer. In and out of the hospital with family, now ex-friends turning their backs on everything and just vanishing from the face of the earth with a simple “f*** you”, the job hunting (outside of the odd small job that lasted at the most two weeks due to them being promo jobs) running dry, depression slowly creeping its way into life, and just everything from the summer catching up at once.

I know time does fly when you’re having fun but after you actually slow down and begin winding down after the summer is preparing to be over, it’s actually amazing how everything catches up. The construction on the street is still yet to finish, the sidewalk still needs to be repaired due to the town tearing it up for new piping, and just everything else that came along with it just makes life that much peachier. I guess this summer, as well as the end of last summer, could be classified as the summer of hell.

As you get older, life gets more rough with more responsibilities that come with it, especially coming out of the teenage years and entering the real world where you are pretty much on your own, hunting for work in an economic environment that’s pretty much near death, and to find a good paying job that’s not flipping burgers at a McDonald’s is harder than it looks. To get a job, you need experience and to get experience, you need to get a job. It’s just how the cookie crumbles so to speak and in the end, it either works out, or you’re thrown into the pot to suffer with everyone else. Just keep faith that your ship will come in, and that everything will work out.

Until next time, have a great weekend.

I guess the old quote “time goes by fast when you’re having fun” is true afterall. Over the past summer, I managed to do pretty much everything I wanted and needed to get done, with the lack of a annual vacation in Niagara Falls. Over the past two months, I managed to get some shopping done, do some site seeing and finished working on some digital photography work with a good friend by my side. The annual festivals have come and gone, saw some old friends who I have not seen since highschool, did some trail riding with some friends, and managed to get the hang of proper vlogging off the ground.

Another thing that was added to the fun times was helping a fellow youtuber and online friend build his smurf figurine collection, and hunting for those little buggers is getting more and more easy, now knowing where to find them. The fall will most likely be the same as the summer without the dreaded heat, shopping with friends, going to the city for a fun drive, and possibly getting a decent car in the next month or so. The summer jobs are slowly coming to a end which means it’s time to start looking for a full time job, and until then, the local fair is coming to town and some friends requested I enter a photo into the digital photography contest, which I am debating on doing due to the deadline being this wednesday, and having lack of black paper that is required, it’s going to be a toss up for this one. If I do manage to enter one however, it will most likely be the following taken from my deviantart account:

So until then, remember to keep your head up high, and I think it’s time to get back to work on a vlog that I’ve been holding off on doing for the past two weeks or so, as well as some acoustic work.

This doesn’t bother me that much but I noticed it’s been not only affecting my sleep pattern, but also the day in general. I let a lot of things on the to-do list pile up, and starting tonight I think it’s time to change the sleep schedule back to the way it used to be. I used to be one to goto bed around 1am, wake up between 8-10am and be good for the day. That was when the summers were calm and not filled with stress as well, sitting on the lake with the water surrounding the boat, sound of gentle waves riding to shore with the sound of seagulls and birds screeching because they caught their prey.

Also, with the computer, entertainment system and book shelf being in the same room, it’s just the few things that would keep anyone up until the wee hours, but the thing not many people do is, take life into your own hands and start forcing yourself to get a proper and healthy schedule on track.

I guess as you get older, the more responsibilities that follow, and starting tomorrow, I think it is time to tackle the to-do list and get it out of the way… for now anyways, as well as to get a healthy diet back on track. I hope you all have an amazing week and as for me, seeing how it’s going on 1am now, I am heading to bed.

Sometimes I honestly hate post offices! Expecially when you have a person who doesn’t even know what she’s talking about working behind the counter!

So today was a interesting day of running around and getting nowhere! First, I went to the post office to only be redirected to UPS, so myself and a friend went over there, only for them to send us BACK to the post office, which then they said “if you have the tracking number, track it on our site.” So I went to my friends house, grabbed the tracking number and after it was all said and done, I have a bad feeling the Dr. Noise album I purchased 3 weeks ago got lost in the mail.

Why do people at the post office however have to be so dumb?! We went in and said the cd I ordered 3 weeks ago hasn’t come in and we were wondering if there was a update, she said “well what was it going through” and I told her USPS. She thought I said UPS and told me to go there and my friend was like “oh my god…” so we made our way across the street, then we get told that it had nothing to do with them so when we did check the site with the tracking number, the last update was “The item has been shipped and is currently in transit to the desired location. more updates will be up as we recieve them”. So I honestly don’t know what to do. Might wait until the end of the week and see if it comes in and if not, I guess I’m going to have to email either DFTBA or go through paypal and see what is going on.

A friend asked me the other day if the cd came in because they wanted to hear it for themselves, and when I said it hasn’t, they were even concerned about the mailing order. If it comes down to it, I’ll re-order the album AGAIN and hope for the best. Sorry for rambling on in a mad rant but it had to be let out.

DFTBA and enjoy the week!

I guess it’s just the thoughts and memories that have been flooding back as of late. Lost a relative this time last summer, and then seeing my old friend who came down from PEI, who I haven’t seen since my old teachers funeral, it’s just brought a hell of alot of close memories back. When we got talking, she said the suicide intervention team might fall apart at the local highschool because the main core of students graduated this year, then we got thinking about our old teacher (may he RIP forever) and all the memories we had with him and his classes. I guess in the end, you don’t know what you actually have in life until it’s gone, and you should never take anything for granted and cherish every memory you gain from the experience.

The lyrics that seem to relate to this post at the moment are taken from Leave Out All The Rest by Linkin Park when they say “And don’t resent me. And when you’re feeling empty. Keep me in your memory. Leave out all the rest.” With that, I think I might just take the vacation I was meant to have back on my birthday and just take a major break from the net and just get back on track fully with priorities. So if I disappear from the net from any given time, I’ll be visiting the old cottage at the lake, and enjoying the sound of the waves crashing to shore as I travel the blue waters of Lake Erie while fishing.

One last thing I have to say is this. If you feel down, remember one thing. Never try to be like someone else, be yourself and keep your head up high even when you are at your lowest in life because no matter what… you’re always going to be hotter ‘n a pistol.